2 Samual 3:1

In the time of transition the house of Saul and the house of David were in existence side by side. In-fact they not only existed together there were clear times when David would actually serve the house of Saul even though he knew he was the anointed king and that the anointing had left Saul. David ministers to the house of Saul, there were even times he would go on battle campaigns for Saul, but there was always the awareness that if he could Saul would kill him. There was the wisdom to know when to stay and when to go. When to bless and when to run. The picture of this time of transition is so relevant to where we are now. We see the established church setting co-existing alongside the ekklesia people of God. What can we learn from David? After all if he was a man after God’s own heart there must be something about his character that we can glean from. He was not perfect, far from it. He did not always make the right decisions. He even had dreams that were not in line with the mind of God, for example the building of the temple, to which God clearly says ‘I do not want that’. (We will look at that another time). God makes it plain that He does not want a building to live in, but people. But David was human. A human living in the mezzanine floor, that in-between place. As we are too. We will make mistakes and not get it right all of the time, but what we can do is cultivate a heart in the midst of the mess and confusion. A heart full of character that shines in the construction site. God has always been more concerned about who we are rather than what we do, that is even clear in the New Testament epistles. How did we get to the place of doing so much stuff to try to please Him? Do we think it all impresses Him? Meetings, preaching, conferences, crowds, modern technology, evangelistic programmes, worship teams, leadership structures, prayer meetings, house groups, cell groups, coffee shops etc. Does any of that impress God as much as a simple heart of thanksgiving? Forgive us Lord for what we have made it.

Saul

God never wanted Israel to have a king. He wanted His people to be different, to live their lives without hierarchy and control. To walk their lives out before God alone. But the people wanted to be like the other Nations. They saw the power it could bring, the progress, the battles they could win, the land they could get hold of, the prestige. Even with God’s sternest warning they proceeded to want a king. A sort of God replacement. A vicar. Without going into huge detail this is what they got with Saul. Amazingly God helped them choose this man. I often find God will still bless our mess. He cannot help blessing us, it is in His nature and character. Just because He blesses and helps us it does not mean He stands in full agreement with us. It is just more of the heart character of God than having God’s seal of approval.

He was man’s choice, they saw he was more handsome and taller than anyone.

He lead by control and manipulation and fear. Power. People served him out of fear.

He was impatient and foolish. Would not wait for Samuel.

He wanted to please men.

He made rash statements and threats.

He thought he knew better than God, then used God’s name to back up what he had done.

He raises himself up with a monument.

He was full of excuses and not repentance.

He was threatened by others. Full of jealousy and resentment.

He was obsessed with keeping others down.

He was more focused on what others were doing than on what God was doing.

A heart like David

Then there was David. Heart. A man of heart. Were our hearts not burning within us as we walked along that road. ‘A good heart these days is hard to find’. (Maria McKee). Here are some characteristics to cultivate within our hearts and lives in this transition season. Have there been transition times before? I believe so. Hvae things got to here before? I believe so. But man’s heart is also like David’s in a negative way, we always want to build a temple around the new. The new then becomes the old in new clothes. Wiil things be different this time? Only God knows, but cultivating this heart is so key.

He was God’s choice, not man’s obvious choice. We are all included in this as God desires to raise up a kingdom of priests. The foolish to confound the wise. The priesthood of all believers is something that we are so good at preaching/teaching but crap at living out. We need to restore the heart of God on all being the chosen. We are a royal priesthood.

He was a man after God’s own heart.

He was a servant. He served before he ruled. In-fact the more he ruled the further he got away from serving. It was the times he threw aside the robes that we see the real heart. He was a secret servant before he was a public servant. He served his family in the shepherds field. He served the king, Saul. We are called to serve in secret. We need to be open to still serve the old house. It may have speared us against the wall but our songs can minister, our prophecies can calm, our weapons can gain victories for them. We are not here to just build our kingdom, but His. Bless those who hate you. Show them a different way.

He was a worshipper before he was a king. Not on a stage but in the open field before God alone. We get a glimpse of this man when he finally throws aside his robes and gives everything in undignified worship. He is a psalmist not a king.

He is not intimidated by Goliaths.

He walks in his own flesh and not somebody else’s armour. There is so much copying going on in church life. The Hillsongs model, the Methodist model, the seeker-sensitive model, the organic church model, the prophetic model, the Celtic church model. Books, tapes, CD’s, the Internet, so much information we do not need inspiration. Worked for them it will work for me. So wrong, we are so foolish, we are like sheep going astray. God always says, ‘what have you got in your hand?’ A little oil, a few fish, some flour, a sling, a harp, my own skin. Just live with what you are in Him.

He cultivated relationships. In one word Jonathan. A son of the old system. He walked with him, talked with him, shared with him, loved him, served him. Never made him feel as if he should leave his own house but lived out his life before him. Showed him another way. Encouraged him to serve his father in the best way he could.

He was part of a gathering of willing volunteers. The Adullum crowd. The despised, the rejected, the hurt, those with debts. They were drawn to where David was. He never tried to gather his own crowd, they just found themselves together, paths crossed. We are living in days of Adullum gatherings.

He kept a good heart towards Saul. He had opportunities to slay Saul. To kill the one that wanted to kill him. He spared his life making his own life more uncomfortable. Even cutting the corner off of Saul’s robe broke his heart. What is our attitude towards the people of the old house? Such a tough one especially when we have been so damaged, and we see it continuing to damage others. Are we grieving at it’s death? The day we start to think that what we are doing is so superior and gloat over the demise of the church system and those in it, is the day we become just like it. Pride is a killer and it comes so subtly. Keep on loving. We don’t want to be mountain movers but lose the love do we? We know what happens then.

He does not pursue position but pursues God. The kingdom comes to him, he does not look for the kingdom.

He spends his life investing in and promoting people. The despised of the cave become the Mighty Men. Now that is true ministry gift in operation. Equipping, equipping, equipping.

The Mezzanine Floor

I’m on the mezzanine floor, never been here before no no

It’s a lonely place, but a house full of grace…

I’m at this bolted door but I’m coming through without permission

If I go they say I’m wrong, if I stay they’ll be no song…

(1999 Smith/Gerrard)

Stories from the shop floor

This has been an amazing week. God stories flying around all over the place. The world of Asda is ever transforming and shafts of light and eternity are evident in such clear ways. Then that links to the world of Facebook. A community of friends past, present and future. Seeds being sown, shoots beginning to grow.

Lyndsey works on the sweets aisle. Have spoken before about her changing from an atheist to an agnostic in one conversation. Well that conversation seems to be ever moulding her life. We always talk but have not mentioned much about God since then. I just believe presence means so much more than more words. This week she wrote to me on Facebook. Her son wanted to attend Sunday school and she wanted some info on how to go about that. Then that ongoing conundrum came up, she had been thinking for a while herself that she wanted to go back to church and see for herself what it was like. As you can imagine my reply to her was very interesting concerning church etc. Pray for her because something is definitely shifting. From atheist to seeker without one sermon. I love it. Just hope one sermon does not ruin it for her!!!

H is another worker I have mentioned before. An artist and farmer who is working for some money. He is at this moment stuck in Mexico on holiday. Ash is holding his journey up. We have talked much about eternal issues and the real Jesus. He has painted pictures of Biblical events and God speaks to him powerfully through religious art and music. We were chatting again on Facebook this week and he said, ‘I really believe I am a Christian.’ That then led us to talk about Jesus and the false representation of the church. I’m already thinking he is part of the ekklesia already!!! A called out one.

On Facebook (obviously another realm of the ekklesia) I put a simple post this week saying, ‘We should be more like Jesus and not be so religious.’ The response I have had to this has been amazing. There is a facility where friends can say whether they like this statement. I have had twelve responses, which is pretty good. The exciting thing is 5 of these responses are from people that would not be recognised as signing the magical dotted line of Christianity. Two cousins who have been very anti-church. A brother of an ex-member of the church in Tonyrefail and two Asda work colleagues. There is those Asda people again. One of them, Sam, is a rock musician. He is as ‘rock and roll’ as you can get. He is part of one of the Rhondda’s up and coming bands. We get on really well because of my love and appreciation of music of all types and because I was once in a band. Yes I was a singer (shouter) in a punk band called Acne. We never made it but released cassettes (remember them) and sold about 2 copies. We had fun. Last night in work he told me he loved my statement. Very revolutionary. Did not go much deeper than that but it has gone deep enough. Deep enough for me to get an invite to their next gig. Have I just been invited to their ‘church’? I’m nearly 43 for goodness sake!!!! Rock and roll!!!

Sharon and Sue are two friends on facebook. Sue I went to school with, Sharon is a friend of Sue’s. Both have recently suffered the loss of parents, Sue her mother, and Sharon her father. It turns out Sharon’s father was a church minister. She is hurting. How can God take him when he has given all his life to serving him. We chat often. Sharon was having a bad day this week and I replied by writing a few words back to her. I believed at the time what I had written was more than words. The reply said, ‘thanks for those words you know exactly how I feel.’ I said I don’t but God does and he loves you despite all the hurt and anger. God is at work. Sue also really misses her mum. Again she was having a bad day. More words. Another life touched by the love of God. She said ‘I love it when you write words of comfort.’ Pray for these girls. Both carrying so much baggage, but God loves baggage carrying people.

2 Samuel 3:1

there was a long war between the house of Saul and the house of David

But David grew stronger and stronger and the house of Saul grew weaker and weaker

Never meant to share so many life stories but I am so excited. This is evidence that being outside I am really inside. That what is underground is coming overground. These are transition times. And in transition times we need to accept the blurring of borders and living without clarity. Nothing fits in a box, and thank goodness for that anyway, boxes are for breaking. What we think we have worked out today will confuse us tomorrow, things really are shifting that much. I feel more and more like the double-minded man, unstable in all my ways, but maybe I need to be unstable in my ways to find the security and blessing of His ways. I find many similarities in the season we are living in to the one in which Saul and David lived in side by side. And this verse I believe is so key. The two houses co-existing, one getting weaker, the other getting stronger. Both seasons at the same time. We are seeing signs of this in our own seasons. And the between seasons bits seem to be getting longer and longer. We can think summer is here and then winter returns. I think David is key here though, especially his attitude. I believe attitude will determine our altitude in this season. There have already been comments about how do we rescue those who are still part of the system, how do we relate to them etc? This is very important if we are not to become just another movement that creates borders and labels and empire. Is it possible to build empire when we are so anti-empire? Look through history for the answer to that one. From the Methodists to the Pentecostals, to the Restoration movement and the house church, and even now with the emergent churches and organic churches, all start as radical outsiders outside the box, but soon boxes are created. Labels given. Books on what it looks like etc. In history I find that as soon as a movement is labeled it ceases to be a movement and becomes a monument. People know what it looks like.

Music to my ears

I love music, always have done since I bought my first 7″ single, Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick by Ian Dury and the Blockheads. My £1 pocket money would go every week on a new single. Whatever I liked I bought from the Bee Gees to the Sex Pistols, from Squeeze to the Damned. But then I started buying the NME music magazine. They love to compartmentalise everything. These are punk bands, these are AOR, these are mod bands etc. Labels, labels, labels. From that moment instead of appreciating music I became a punk and only bought punk records. What I did not appreciate was that by being labelled punk was already dead. Before it was labelled fans just appreciated loud music from the New York Dolls to Iggy Pop to Roxy Music to Bowie, but then came the label. All songs must be 3 minute three chord songs. Really when the Sex Pistols finally released their second album it was dead. The same thing happens in the music world time and time again. That is why John Peel was a revolutionary. He would play anything at anytime, from reggae to punk to acoustic to prog rock to spoken poetry. Now Radio 1 only has specialist music shows. I believe the i-pod is a God given to tool to shake it all up again. Now my play-list is so varied it makes me laugh sometimes. Never the same always changing. That should be the picture of the people of God for this i-pod generation.

This happens in church movements all of the time. Labels mean certain death. And then the how to books!!! No longer unique just another man model to copy.

No beginning or end

This seems to be a bit of a godly blog. It seems to have no clear beginning or end. I like that. Very eternal. Not even really got into the title, but this is a long war so we have plenty of time. Next time I will look at the character of David through the transition time and recognise how we need to be nurturing that heart after God at this present time. We can recognise what is happening, and even feel where the anointing lays now. We can have our prophetic word for a new day. But what do we do with it all. How do we live? There is a time to tear down, but we need such wisdom. David will speak volumes into that. This time of overlapping seasons, existing side by side is so key and so vital. But we must be ready for the long haul. This is not a time for the microwave quick fix generation. But the glory is increasing.

The glory of the Lord will fill the earth as the waters cover the sea.

I already see it in Asda. I already read it on facebook. It is beginning, and we are a part of historic days NOW!!!

Day of rest?

Been thinking alot this week about what our Sunday used to be like. When I think back it is almost laughable to think what we put ourselves through. Was reminded of this when we decided to attend an Easter service at a church where my brother-in-law is ‘pastor’. From the off I found this hard because going to ‘church’ is not my favorite past-time, but especially when it is Easter. Too many links to paganism and goddess Ishtar for my liking but that is another story. I went because of family. Family is important. Nearly all of my in-laws (or is that out-laws) were going to be there. Time to catch up and enjoy their company. I was also aware that they would probably be having as hard a time over what I do (or don’t do now) than I would with what they do, church, church and more church. Be in the meetings or backslide type of church. A church the Puritans would have been proud of. The we will make you feel guilty if you are not there, you must sit under the Word, you must see the centrality of the sermon type of church. Talk about two worlds colliding!!! But they are my family and I love them to bits and would not swap them for anything.

Preparing for worship in a mad-house

As I said this reminded me of the time when religiously we would do our Sunday thing. Set the alarm nice and early on a Sunday morning. Get up and then I would prepare the food ready for a nice traditional British Sunday roast. Then it would be time for breakfast and getting the crew up and ready. We must leave the house at 10:15am at the latest. The serene peace of peeling potatoes was then broken by four boys and a wife all rushing to have breakfast and get ready. Bathing, washing, dressing, shouting, fighting, sweating, looking at the clock about a hundred times. Every weekend I would note a minor miracle, however long my wife had (and I am not being sexist here, just making a note) she would always take five minutes longer. An hour before we need to leave, she would take an hour and five, an hour and a half before we were due to leave, she would take an hour and thirty five minutes. This is not very good for someone who needs to be on time to lead a service looking in total control of his life and his family!!! Stress levels would rise, more shouting, more sweating, more kids fighting and arguing. Then it is rounding up time. All good shepherding skills. Pile everybody into the car. At last we are on our way, counting the heads to make sure everybody is there. This is the part I was reminded of when we went to the Easter service.

Time to celebrate the Sabbath?

After catching our breath on the ten minute car journey we would walk in as the perfect smiling family. If only. Kids would go crashing in. Congregants would look at their watch as if to say ‘are they late this week?’  Someone with an issue would aim in my direction, i would disappear quickly to the office to pray a really spiritual prayer of preparation. Make the big entrance and the meeting begins. After an intro would hand over to the ‘worship team’ then enjoy a good sing. Would normally lead what was going on, keep an eye on it anyway. Interject with a prayer, a prophecy, a reading, do the Communion thing. Then  it was time to preach the sermon. A good 45 minute preach and then a rousing prayer and be open for a response. Pray for people, words of knowledge, wisdom etc. An amazing hour and a half-ish later it was all over, well that bit was. Then came the conversations, complaints, prayer requests, looking interested at the most boring conversations I had ever heard. Elders wanting a word about what the mysterious ‘someone’ had said who wasn’t happy. By 1 o’clock my wife would give me that evil eye, the kids would have broken something with all that running around, and I was ready for food. Thank God for the Sabbath, the day of rest. (We are so Biblical we never seem to realise that Sabbath was never ever a Sunday in Scripture, not even in the New Testament. The Sabbath always has been and always will be Friday sundown to Saturday sundown. Where do we get all this stuff from that we get so defensive about? You can keep your Keep Sunday Special campaign. No thank you!!!).

Home, cook dinner. Sit down to eat it about 2:30pm, enjoy. Talk about what people were talking about. Everyone else has the Pastor for dinner and roasts him, we roast the congregation instead. She said this, he did that, that song was rubbish and boring, that prayer was too long etc, etc. Finish eating, wash dishes, look at clock. Only three hours and we do it all again (Good old Penties always have two Sunday services!!! Makes us really holy. Sunday morning breaking of bread was for the very seriously committed Christians, Sunday night was Gospel service. The one where the unsaved knew they could hear relevant teaching and lively music, if only they turned up.) At 5 o’clock bath kids and the cycle starts all over again. For what happens here please read above. We just do the same again only different until the end of the meeting at 7:30pm, more chat this time with cuppa and cake, then home by 9ish if we are lucky. Supper, kids to bed, crash out!!! The Lord’s Day, the wonderful day of rest, the Sabbath special day is over until next Sunday when we do it all again.

Do I miss this?

You are having a laugh!!! At first it was culture shock. To go from this to where we are now was a major shift. At first we even felt we maybe had to attend somewhere else every now and again. The ‘i must be in church today’ was so ingrained. We visited all sorts of places. Some made a fuss of us others left us alone. We were always asked about where we were going, almost embarrassed to say nowhere yet, sometimes apologised and said we were still looking. But the journey on the seeming road to nowhere was on. Realising that even the nowhere was somewhere to God. Over time the relief and the joy and the fun of having space and freedom was there. Now it is a family day. Joel our oldest son made a decision to go with a friend to a new church meeting in a hotel. At seventeen I know he too is on a journey and am so thankful that God is a part of that journey. I am not preaching at him about the evils of church etc, etc, because he needs to find his own way. Allison my wife goes to help at her brother-in-laws church with the kids on a Sunday night. She loves kids and inputs amazingly into their lives. She is training her young niece  to do the same and when we want to be somewhere else she does the job. Again Allison is on her own journey and needs space to be what she is in God. I just love it that the church (the same I mentioned at the beginning concerning the Easter service) are looking at her only going to that for the purpose of the kids and not going to anything else. This in itself is challenging mindsets. But Sundays have been redeemed. They are days that are a breath of fresh air. I love it,as I love every day.

My Family

I feel sorry for my eldest son. The first for any family is always the one you practice and experiment on. Joel was born in the throes of our lives of manic Sundays. As a baby and toddler that is great you just get carried along, but growing up it was tough and unfair. He loves football. Football for young kids takes place on Sunday mornings. Sunday morning is church time. We must be in church, you have no-one to take you, therefore you cannot go. Terrible or what? I have apologised scores of times for this. Joel missed out on so much because he was the scapegoat of a religious ‘pastor’s’ family trying to play the game of being perfect and not upsetting anybody. Thank goodness by the time Daniel and John were older we chilled out a bit. We let them play and Allison would go and watch them if they could not get a lift while I did my pastoral bit. Then came the day of freedom!!!! I always remember the day, it is etched into my memory. Had finished pastoring, John had a game on a Sunday morning and I was going to take him. On the way to the pitch I passed the local Salvation Army hall and I knew the Captain there really well. He was on the doorstep with that ‘church is about to start’ look on his face. We talked briefly and at that moment I smiled and felt so liberated. I knew where I would rather be. I would rather be a father watching his sons play football in the sun, rain, ice, you name it I have watched them.

Now if we want to go to the beach, we go. If we want to chill out at home, we chill. If we want to raid pizza hut, we raid. But now the family lives as a family. We talk around the dinner table with all the time in the world, we laugh, we love, we worship. Through it all I am so thankful that our boys are still so eager to know God and have not been put off Him by any of our shenanigans or what the church has/hasn’t done. They are great kids, and now I am around to appreciate that.

Met a guy named Steve Double for the first time this week. Great to connect with someone else on a journey. He told me something that I will repeat here because I love it. For people who cannot comprehend what living outside the whole concept of church is like. He said that on a lovely sunny day down in Cornwall he will go to the beach. And there he said ‘ I can sit on the beach and think about church, but all you can do is sit in church and think about the beach.’ Nuff said!!!