Is there a letter, a letter for me?

The problem we have with the Bible is that because it primarily gets used for preaching and teaching it ends up as nothing more than a text book. Something we use to get a train of thought or doctrine or facts on a certain theological subject. Then we can use it to get a now Word for our lives and how to live. A guidebook for all good Christians that we can quote and share and use as a map for life. At Bible college I was trained to use it to prove things, to gain a sermon from and how to teach and communicate what I found to others so they could mature in their own Christian walk. For nearly twenty years then during the time I was a ‘pastor’ I would find sermons to preach to the congregation. The Bible was the text book for life. Whether I could communicate my interpretation to those that were listening was of vital importance. They needed to leave each meeting knowing more of what it said so they would not walk in error. The sad thing is in using the Bible like this we can actually miss something of beauty about this collection of writings. Because that is what it is a collection of writings from many different parts of history. Historical records, poetry, words of wisdom, eye witness accounts, prophetic seers writings. All writings breathed on by God (whatever that means. Dyfed’s blog covers this well elsewhere). Then there were what we call the epistles. Letters. Letters written by Paul among others. The Bible brings some of these letters together, I say some because reading Corinthians there are references to other letters written to Corinth. Why these are not in what we call the ‘canon of Scripture’ I do not know. Why these letters were more inspired than the others is a mystery. Or are they? And other letters written to other places, why not include them? I will leave that to others to discuss. Yet what Paul wrote were simply letters to groups of people in certain places. I’m sure at the time he never viewed them as equal to Scripture. They were letters written from someone on a journey to people beginning journeys, to friends, to other journeymen. Letters full of advice and thinking and direction. The sad thing is we have taken them from the place of being letters to being the text book for building churches and leadership and doctrine. To being texts for preaching. But really they were letters from a concerned Christian to friends, and we can miss that now we have been sermonized to death. Letters to people just like us on a journey. Not to churches gathered in buildings but to people.

All the (not so) lonely people

We all love receiving letters. In the days of Scripture before the days of mass communciation letters were the main form of communciation in absence. It was nothing unusual to send a letter. Paul was a mega-letter writer. During his time in imprisonment he had time to write and send plenty of letters. I have been thinking about the recipients of those letters this week. Who Paul was writing to. One thing is sure Paul never had in mind groups of shut away people in church buildings, there were no such gatherings. They obviously gathered in some ways to read/hear the letters in some way. Passed from family to family, from house gathering to house gathering. Never ever read from pulpits or from the raised arena. Never forced upon or interpreted by authoritarian leadership. Just read as letters. Was thinking when we receive a letter from a missionary do we treat it as anything other than a letter. They would have discussed the advice and what it would have meant for them as a community but they would not have seen it as a thus saith the Lord. It was a letter to people. Never forget people.

Dear John

Romans 1:7 ‘to all who are in Rome, beloved of God, called to be saints.’

1Corinthians 1:2 ‘to the ekklesia of God which is at Corinth, to those who are set apart in Christ Jesus, called to be saints, with all who in every place call on the name of Jesus Christ our Lord both theirs and ours.’

2 Corinthians 1:1 ‘to the ekklesia of God which is at Corinth with all the saints in all Achaia.’

Ephesians 1:2 ‘to the saints who are in Ephesus and faithful in Christ Jesus.’

Philippians 1:1 ‘ to all the saints in Christ Jesus who are in Philippi with the carers and servants.’

Colossians 1:2 ‘to the saints and faithful brethren in Christ who are in Colosse.’

1 & 2 Thessalonians 1:1 ‘to the ekklesia of the Thessalonians in God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.’

Every letter had people in mind, never churches. People in different geographical areas. The concept of local church that we have now is not a concept recognised in these letters. Infact I would go so far as to say local church is not a concept at all. In college we were taught that there were two levels to church, universal and local. But in reality I think there is only one level and that is ekklesia, one ekklesia. This is expressed in locality by the people who live in each locality and are recognised as the ekklesia, the called out one’s living in a certain area. But there is no concept of different churches in one town or area. God does not see this. We are all part of the ekklesia where we live, wherever we gather, wherever we go, whether we go or not. No one can say I am not part of the ekklesia. All believers are seen as saints in that region, the ekklesia of a certain place. All of them. Many would not gather in the same place as everyone else, but they would be part of the ekklesia in that region. Whether those who do church their way want me to part of their ekklesia or not I am part of the ekklesia in the Rhondda. Recognised by God as a part of His Body. The ekklesia is flipped from being small local churches to being those who believe in the locality. There is a slight but important difference here. No one is therefore excluded or outside of the church through attendance of anywhere. God makes me part of ekklesia not people. So far we have only looked at Paul’s letters. Other letters will follow…..

Under a cloud

This past Sunday here in the U.K. we just had Mother’s Day. For the past few years it has been a bit of a difficult day since losing my Mum to cancer seven years ago. It brings back memories of her and the loss experienced in m life. My mum was not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, she had a bit of a control over me because she was the disciplinarian, which built a bit of an unhealthy fear of being open and honest with her. She loved to interfere in my relationships and she was not great at showing love and emotion with me. Yet she brought me into the world, gave me a Christian upbringing and allowed me to pursue the crazy idea of going to Bible college instead of going to University. There was no one prouder than her when I first went into the ‘pastoral’ ministry. It cost her in a way greatly because I was an only child and I found myself living the other side of Britain to East Anglia with her four grandchildren. Yet she showered them with gifts and generosity whenever she had the opportunity. My biggest regret in life is not being there for her as she died. Not being there to support my dad. Not having the chance to say goodbye. I was often too busy with church stuff to get to see her during her illness. Such wrong priorities. Mother’s Day brings all of this back. The joys, the regrets. The pain, the guilt. The life, the grace. I love my mum so much and am glad I had the opportunity to tell her so the night before her death on the phone.

Mary, Mary

On the Sunday evening had one of my rare invitations to share. Was with a group of people that still retain a youthful, radical edge. Often misunderstood bunch and yet I love them. While there one of the older women got up, sat in a chair, and started to share about Mary the mother of Jesus. Shame we push her aside and just get her story out for Christmas tales. There was much in her story that is such a blessing for us today. What struck me was how she was treated by her son, the things he said to her, the things he did to her. It would have been so easy for her to fall out with Him and she would have had good grounds. If the birth itself was not enough with all the mystery, angels, supernatural, visitors etc., at the age of thirteen on one of the busiest days Jesus gets lost for three days. Imagine the panic, the sense of loss, the fear. Being afraid to say ‘I’ll kill him when I get hold of him’ incase he is already dead. Had Jesus never read the bit about honoring your father and mother? He must have overlooked that bit. Then when they find him the cheeky so and so replies ‘I must be about my Father’s business.’ Doesn’t He appreciate the pain He has caused? Then there was the time when Mary and His brothers turn up to see Him. Someone gets through the crowd and tells Him that they are outside waiting to see Him. Again His reply seems to be a bit disrespectful, ‘these people here are my mother and brothers.’ Not nice to be shunned and humiliated by anyone, but especially your children. What does Jesus think He is doing? Then He causes the greatest pain by dying on the cross. All parents that have lost children will say they should never die before them. The pain is horrific. I have taken funerals of small children and the pain and loss is often unbearable. How heavy this must have weighed upon Mary. Yet who do we find in the upper room on the day of Pentecost? Mary. All of this pain and misunderstanding is sown into the future for a brighter day. She had to let Him go to receive Him back. There are many mothers that are not very good at this. They want their sons to cleave as near to home as possible and therefore end up influencing the destiny and calling of their children. There has to be a letting go.

Let them live

One of the biggest challenges ahead is to give our kids and the next generation the grace and space to live. They will not always be where we are, they will not always think as we think, they will not always express themselves as we would express ourselves, but we must let them go and let them live. Don’t tie them down with guilt and strong family ties that can become chains holding them back. Some will become backpackers for Jesus travelling the globe, others will become poets and musicians, many will rebel against ministry as we know it and church as we see it. It is not rebellion of the enemy that is stirring them but heavenly rebellion. A desire for something new. Grace and space is needed. Some may see their repositioning as moving away from God but many are really moving towards a fresh expression of God. They are still about their Father’s business even though they are not in a secure and safe surrounding with you. They are not really shunning you but honoring you by fulfilling their destiny. You never know, their experience may even pull us through to our own place of newness, just like Mary was.

Final thoughts

I do not know what my mum would have thought about my journey today. Sadly she is not around to share this with. But I trust that although she may not have understood the journey she would have loved me through it. That is what I want to do for my kids and for those of the next generation. Let them be free to fly, free to fail, free to fall, but free to function as they see fit. Fresh expressions and new ways of living loved. Writing their own story and not just reading mine. Oh to be like Mary and just ponder the things I don’t understand in my heart. Ponder instead of pushing. Now that is a way to live in freedom.

Pioneer- 1)One who ventures into unknown or unclaimed territory to settle. 2)One who opens up new areas of thought, research, or development. 3)Leading the way; trailblazing. 4)To open up (an area) or prepare (a way). 5) an innovator or developer of something new. 6)a person who goes to a new, often uninhabited or uncivilized (part of a) country to live and work there.

Höganäs Calling

Through the wonderful world of Skype I was in contact with my friend Torbjorn Erling from Höganäs in Sweden at the weekend. Torbjorn in my mind is one of those new breed of apostolic people, not looking for pulpits or stages or ministry or names and titles but firmly planted in a region faithfully digging with those that will dig with him. Grounded rather than rising up. But that is another subject altogether. Through our conversation Torbjorn mentioned a song that somebody had shared with him by a guy called Rick Pino called ‘Pioneer’. He said I should listen to it. Immediately after our conversation I ventured over to Youtube (no song is hidden anymore) and hunted it down. Found a bit of a dodgy video of the song (:)), but the words!!! Talk about getting you right down deep inside, right into that place that a guy called Clay Nash once called the Knower. You just know something is touching Spirit to spirit, deep to deep. Have thought alot about these words this week and wanted to share them with you. They will definately touch something deep inside anyone on a journey at this time and in this season.

Loneliness of a Long Distance Runner

Uncharted wilderness stretches before you

 And you thrive on going where no one has gone

 Still it gets lonely when darkness rears

So sing by the fire until the dawn

Have often been spoken to about launching out into uncharted waters. While in the safety of the harbour the prospect of the journey ahead can seem very exciting. The unknown brings a buzz of adrenalin. As someone a bit famous once said ‘to boldly go where no man has gone before.’ The journey then becomes a place of storms and turbulent seas. The fresh new lands open up into miles of wilderness. The promise of a new rich life full of gold becomes years of tough farming of the land and eating more dust than produce of the land. Instead of people around you life is full of barren landscape. The journey can be a very lonely one. I am so thankful to God for connections and for technology that brings connection. Have made some amazing friends on this journey over the last few years. Yet here in the Rhondda Valleys, although surrounded by people and churches, it is a lonely path. At this moment in time here in my region there is not yet one other person journeying as I am. That I have found yet anyway. I sound a bit like Elijah when really there may be hundreds like me, but I am yet to connect with them. Loneliness either forces you to go back tot the known paths or you learn total dependance on Him. You sing by the ‘Fire’ until dawn. Isolation can be a real challenge on the journey. Everyone goes on about gathering and not neglecting it, but who do you gather with when no one else is around without going back to the old roads? Just Father and family.

Secret Service

You travel light and you travel alone

 And when you arrive nobody knows

 But your Father in heaven, He is glad you can go

Cause those who come after you will need the road

This is not the journey for those that love man’s praise. Infact the opposite occurs as even friends begin to question your walk, faith, standing, wisdom etc. No one is there to look and comment on how wonderful your personal destination is. There is no building or fruit to give evidence of success. No one holding a sign to say welcome you have arrived. This is not about man’s approval. We go for Him and Him alone. We walk with Him and Him alone. What keeps the fous is that the path we are paving is not just for personal benefit it is for others. For my children and my children’s children that they may live in a new day. There will be wrong turns and mistakes but they are made so others will not have to. The only person that needs to comment about us being a good and faithful servant is Him. People think we have gone off the radar. We have and we will never come back onto it again. Like Elisha we have burned the plough, there is no going back.

The Wilderness Pathway

And what you have done, others will do

Bigger and better and faster than you

But you canʼt look back, you gotta keep on pressing through

Thereʼs a wilderness pathway and itʼs calling you

Those that follow will probably be the one’s who get the recognition. They will see changes overnight that you may not have even seen in a lifetime. Can cause great frustration as others just walk in easily to what you have fought blood and tears over. Does this cause us to lose the focus of the terrain ahead? No. We keep walking. We keep digging. We keep ploughing. We keep cutting back the overgrown weeds and thistles and thorns to find the new way. The wilderness pathway is calling. The call is greater than the cost, and it costs everything. Every now and again you look over your shoulder and see the comfortable life and long for the easy road again. But you would never be happy there again. I know I tried it. To appease others I tried it, but Narnia kept calling me. The song of the wilderness was always there calling. I had to go, there is no other place where I want to be. For all the pain, isolation, criticism, misunderstanding, loneliness, seeming fruitlessness, the road calls. And I will go for You.

Calling you, calling you

Keep pressing onwards, you can’t stay here…

And only your Father goes before you to your own frontier

Youʼre a Pioneer

(Song by Rick Pino Lyrics by Nancy Honeytree)

Clock Struck Thrice

I always sit up and take notice when something seems to crop up on more than one occasion in a short period of time. A bit like in Scripture when a word is written more than once, i.e. holy, holy, holy, it does not necessarily mean it was said three times but is emphasised or said loudly in the context. A bit like God underlining or saying something in bold letters.

Strike One. The first time I heard something about addiction within Christianity was an article by Pete Rollins, an Irishman that makes Rob Bell look like a straight down the line evangelical. He is a thinker who truly does think out loud, provokes, shocks and although you may not agree 100% with him you can totally see where he is coming from. On the 1st March he wrote a blog entry entitled ‘The Contemporary Church is a crack house.’ The article looks at escapism from reality and life through addiction such as drug use or even by listening to music. He then swings to how the church is used as a place of escapism and addiction. Here is a quote from the article;

My concern is that most of the actually existing church acts as a type of drug den with the leaders being like the nicest, most sincere, drug dealers. What we pay for are songs, sermons and prayers that help us avoid our suffering. These drugs are very appealing because of the quick fix and powerful high they offer, hence the success of such communities. However they do not help us face up to, speak out and work through our pain.

Strike Two. The second time was in Cardiff at the weekend when a certain Martin Scott came to visit. It was such a blessing seeing Martin again for the first time in about 5 years. Martin I so want to thank you and honour you for all that you have given to this Nation of Wales, and continue to give. And I also thank you for all you have given to me personally, including the space here to travel out loud in total freedom. What Martin shared was such great stuff and will be fed on for weeks/years to come. One of the subjects he just touched on was this one of spiritual addiction. I hope I have this quote right but this is what I wrote down;

‘Let God pull down things we’ve become dependant on- much of what we do in church life is through addictive behaviour. Better some things collapse.’

He also said about having a great time in a gathering but then it all being spoilt by the statement, ‘let’s all come back and do this again next week.’

Strike Three. Phil Drysdale from Redding, California wrote this as his Facebook status update on Monday;

“The two worst addictions I ever had were RELIGION & COCAINE! One took all my money, destroyed my relationships, filled me with fear and paranoia and shut down my ability to hear God! The other…… was a white powdery substance.” ~ Victoria Collins

Getting the Next Fix

I have often been concerned at how we can treat our gatherings as the next fix to help us through another week. We can be told from the pulpit that we need to gather, worship, hear the word, go to prayer meeting etc. to fill us up for the week because we get empty as the week goes on. The church becomes like a filling station where we get filled again ready to be emptied again. Like a fire where our coal burns, because when we face the world alone our coal is off the altar and starts to dim so we need to gather again to fire up again. Come forward for prayer and another touch of the Holy Spirit because we all leak. We soon form a dependency in people for the gathering and the circle of church life. I separate the two because even people who have chosen to walk outside of structured church can get addicted to gatherings and bless me up meetings. The greatest addicts find even more to go to filling their lives with all sorts of Christian activity; prayer meetings, Bible study, house/cell groups etc because of the belief that this shows greater commitment. The more stuff the greater walk with God, but in reality this is producing the opposite. Instead of producing people who know how to walk with God daily through all circumstances, good or bad, we have people that need to gather. Who always feel better after a good worship or hearing a sermon or being prayed for or being whacked. Get the buzz back again until the comedown and reality kicks back in. The high of the gathering place becomes the high point of the week. Life is just in the way. But surely God wants us equipped for life. Surely he wants us to walk dependant on Him and not people in and through all spheres of life. The book of Hebrews says ‘by now you should all be teachers.’ Instead we want to remain as the taught.

I Have No Problem

Addicts can never see they have a problem. I would have said I never had a problem, until I started to live without the dependency on gathering. Talk about cold turkey. There are times when the pull back is so strong you convince yourself that you cannot live without it. There is the loss, the fear that you cannot face life without it. Pushers trying to force you to try another stronger brand for a greater kick. The thought of dying without the fix. Valley experiences. Then when I thought I could face no more the realisation of the presence of One who loved me in my despair kicked in. Even as I laid my bed in the depths He was there. I realised afresh that He was in and through all things. I could see and hear Him more clearly than ever before. I am always connected. Now when I go to a gathering ( and that is not very often) it is not for a quick fix but for relationship, sharing story, making connection. My dependency is not now on the next gathering to get some more because I have learned that He always walks with me. I worship Him daily through my life and sometimes sing. I hear His word through life and sometimes read the Word. I know He is with me always and I sometimes feel Him there. I love walking with others and sometimes I gather with them. Dependency on certain things going on in life has gone, yet I remain a recovering addict. A recovering addict who is learning how not to be dry even in the driest of deserts.

“Change will have to come from outside, from the margins. The desert, not the temple, gave us the prophets.”
Wendell Berry

Where do I stand?

I totally love this quote that I read this week. There is a sense in so many that there is the cry coming from the margins. I have blogged before about how God loves the margins and how we need to learn to dwell in that place just like Jesus did. The sense that the main story would be written in the margins and not on the main page. That there would be a shift of focus from the gathered to the marginalised. This quote confirms what many of us know or have felt, that change would have to come from the margins. That place of the desert and not the construct or temple. The scattered would be the true gatherers because they would not gather for ownership but for the blessing of the other. That gatherings would become scatterings or sendings. A permissioning would be recognised in following all of our dreams and not one man’s vision. Life would be central and not the coming together. People equipped for life and not church stuff. As marginalised one’s ourselves we align with the marginalised. Some have chosen to live in this place while others have fell into by no choice of their own. Some have run away and found themselves here others have run towards. Many recognise they are broken and yet more complete than ever. Yet we have to learn from history because it is so easy to create a new centre around the marginalised. A new construct. History cannot repeat itself again, and yet the natural inclination seems to be to create an organisation around an organism. The pull of empire is so strong. The temptation to create structure is within us all. I think in the walk ahead this is where we need to be acountable to one another in relationship. Have others around us who will be honest enough to say to us ‘be careful what you are creating. Empire is strong and you need to get out of there.’

Where am I standing?

This quote did raise a couple of interesting quotes and questions from friends. Joanna Storie living in Latvia said, ‘I think it depends what you consider the margins and what you consider the centre.’  Mick Smith from Essex asked, ‘Not sure whether I am in the centre or on the margin! Is that good or bad?’  What are the margins and what is the centre? Of course perspective always comes in to this again. When we look at a map of the world (here in the U.K.) we see Britain at the centre and everything else to the right and left of Britian. We are the centre of the universe in our eyes. This is probably from the days of Empire when we truly were the centre of the world. A friend who is a pastor (yes I do have a couple ), David Jones from Tonypandy, went to live in Australia for a while. He said one of the things that struck him was the maps of the world in Australia that had Australia at the centre and everything flowing right and left form there. Centre was a sense of perspective, where I am, where I live. Everything revolves around me. I think that is the sense of centre and empire. Me. We can dwell  in a life outside the construct and yet shift the centre to where I am. Empire then follows us and before long we will create a new centre. Centre seems to be an attitude and not a position. We can never go to church and yet be an empire builder. To be a margin dweller it has always got to be about the other. Jesus emptied himself or divested himself to come to earth. This is the only way we can remain as margin dwellers by emptying ourselves. This is easier said than done let us not pretend and be all super spiritual. This,’ it’s all about you Jesus’ stuff is great in theory but the practice is so hard. Why? Because the empire is always fighting back. There seems to be a pendulum through-out history that keeps swinging back to centre. Ask Wesley, Booth, Roberts and many others who lived for the margins. When they look down today (or from wherever they are) what do they see? Everything brought back to centre, organised, structure. The chain of history needs to be broken once and for all but it will not just be for the brave, it will be for the self-less, the broken, the weak. Those who can always give away and not keep for themselves. Only then will the margins be redeemed for others and not for the centre.

Defining Moments

As we close for this week here are a few more friends quotes, all trying to see what is centre and what is margin. How do you see it? Can we really dwell in margins without tainting them? Can we bring life and healing to the marginalised without centralising them? Can we let life be an organism without organisation? Let us encourage one another, and even more so as the day approaches, to lay hands on but keep hands off. To be a voice but not a director or dictator. To gather but send and release. To love but not to smother. To cover with love but not control. There has to be a new day where an ever growing movement of people remains an ever growing movement of people. Unorganised but focused. Spontaneous and yet life giving. Undefined and yet seen as people of the Way. Dwellers of the margins and yet the apple of His eye, the centre of His focus. Bringing change from the desert and yet remaining a margin minded people. The day of empire must end.

Alan Rees “I would define the ‘centre’ as the place of crowds and popularity. Where everyone applauds every word, all the books are sold, and the DVDs in demand (!). Where the money is, basically (if harshly). The margins are where issues are dealt with in life realities. Where the people are who do not seek a quick fix, but are there for the long haul. I am being over simplistic – but that’s me!”

Caitriona Dalton “to me, the centre is the organised, structured system and the margins are outside that, experiencing God in such a free way in life and in every person with Holy Spirit only leading the flow.”

Jane Almond  ”I am a peregrinati, off the known map. Others want to be safe and that’s ok. I’d rather be free. For me, the centre is empire that contains all you’ve mentioned and more. Recommend The Critical Journey by Janet Hagberg and Falling Upward by Richard Rohr. Both helpful to understanding the journey out to the margins… Follow the wild goose! Honk, honk!”