Keeping Faith

Tricia (and Noel) Richards have been faithful friends over decades, and like so many of us have sought to respond to the winds of heaven, when they blow in convenient and also inconvenient directions! Tricia sent me this poem a short while ago… I think it will resonate for many. I personally loved the ‘I’m taking a different route’ lines / sentiment. First a short intro by Tricia, then the poem.


Several years ago someone asked me if I was having a crisis of faith. My immediate reply was, “No, but I am having a crisis of culture”. The ensuing years saw a shift not only geographically but spiritually and culturally. Many of the beliefs, ideas and thoughts that I had embraced were examined and sifted. This piece of poetry in some ways explains the journey that I have been on.

Keeping Faith

I’m taking a different route
It might be a long way round
But if we should meet along the way
Please greet me without prejudice
Or judgement
Be happy for the liberty I’m finding
It would be such joy
Such freedom for us both
Maybe we can really see each other
In this different light

I did not want my cynicism to drown me
And so I stepped away
Though some would say I fell
But really
My weary worn out heart just needed space
To find a quiet more simple path
Without the probing questions
Or the looks of loving deep concern
Memorials and signposts
Had began to look the same
And any facade that I had built
And happily decorated my life with
Tumbled as I walked away

I took the faith I’d tried to comprehend
Stepped outside a culture
That was all I’d ever known
And sought a different view
It’s not that you were wrong or I was right
It’s just I couldn’t see the way ahead from where I stood
Without the rules and constraints
All expectations stopped
And so the life I could not seem to blend with
All the things I no longer cared so deeply for
Fell away
Like leaves at autumns calling .

I found that I was left with God unchanged
In the silence His love remained
It never missed a beat
Love continued like Niagara falling
Stronger than all my fears
Bigger than the total sum of all my investment
Deeper than everything I had heard or learned
God Immense and vast
And from His storehouse
Treasures old and new came to me
As I continue on my way
I’m just taking a different route .

1 billion and rising

I wrote these few lines in February, 2013 just after the population count had passed the 1 billion mark. That is a lot of people and the number is rising. Many within the global population are simply a number lost within the crowd. The privileged ones, such as myself, can either live life oblivious, or seek to grapple inadequately with their pain. In doing so we will always hit the self-questioning as to whether we are having an effect or not. We have just had Adrian and Pauline Hawkes with us for 5 days. A truly extraordinary couple who are making a difference to many lives, yet they too at times have their self-doubt. That is the mark of honest and committed people to the task in front of them. (See the amazing work of Phoenix Community, to see the heart of what Adrian and Pauline are involved in.)

But Heaven reaches Lower

So much to say
                but cannot speak
Places to travel
                but cannot move
People to help
                but unable to connect
Heaven to reach
                but head that is down
Setting a goal
                but without a horizon
Trying to breathe
                but losing space to live
Having some doubts
                but ready to fight
Fighting an illusion
                but feeling better
Everything will work out
                but not today
Today is not important
                and losing a gift
In the midst of a storm
                that is not as big
Having fears that are
                as big and
                more real than the fight
Yet not able to name
                the fears lest they too
                silence the traveller
                mock the warrior
                and bind the seer
In a world that is created in days
                a world of chaos
                that owes its existence to
                whatever created it
                the question shapes the Universe
Can this be the way it is?
                It is but it will not be for it cannot
                be all that it claims to be
Not all that glitters is gold
                and not all that casts a shadow
                is bad nor can it hide
                the light that finds cracks
                that creates shapes and reveals textures
So maybe today a word spoken could begin
                with a word heard
                and the gift of life
                could release the breath
                and restore the world to
                its true size and beauty
Could the miracle be already present within the space
                that is so small and there be a voice when
                there is no sound.
So cannot speak
                but a lot to say
Cannot move
                but a lot of travel
Cannot connect but
                people to help
A head that is down
                but heaven reaches lower.

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All Locked Up

Yesterday was to be the day when finally the Catalan situation in Spain would return to normal. October 1: independence referendum (deemed constitutionally illegal). Thousands of companies have moved headquarters, the Catalan parliament dissolved, with direct rule from Madrid imposed. A number (still) imprisoned, the former (next?) president in exile in Brussels. Legal elections on December 21 returned some shifts, but basically nothing changed. Yesterday (Jan 30th) was the final piece in the resolving (did I write revolving?) process. The president for the government would be installed and off we would travel as one happy family into the future.

The spanner in the works was that the only candidate was Carles Puigdemont. The former president who has been in Brussels for the past months. So here we are a lock up situation. The speaker for the new parliament, Roger Torrent (pro-indepedence and has handled himself with dignity throughout), announced that any inauguration will wait saying that Puigdemont is the legitimate candidate. Tuesday morning just hours before the due time he said:

We don’t accept anyone telling us that the Catalans have voted incorrectly because we didn’t do what they wanted.

Neither the [Spanish government] nor the constitutional court decides who will be president; that’s for the democratically elected members of parliament to decide.

In response to the situation Mariano Rajoy said that any attempt to invest Puigdemont would constitute a clear violation of the constitutional court’s ruling. The warning given is certainly not veiled. In a media interview yesterday he said:

The speaker and those who support him need to be very aware of the consequences they could face.

Our personal response (Gayle and I) is to pray not simply for an unlocking, but a deep healing. When we travelled in mid-Autumn we came to one situation that both physically was a city divided and divided at a social level, and as we stood on a bridge between the two sides we asked for angels to come and sew up the divide, sensing that somehow in the immediate this was a task beyond where people can go at this point of time. That though will shift.

The genuine bridge-builders have to accept that the third way is the way that opens the proponents of such a way to be trampled on from both sides – such is the nature of a bridge. In the short term there will be political gainers when divisive wounds are opened up. Two years ago I had a dream before the national elections of candidates in their lanes from right to left running the race. The leader of a party that did not fare too well was the one in the dream I knew I had to put all my effort in to catch and prevent him grasping a pillar (establishment) the result of which would mean he would not only have made his mark but strongly re-established the status quo. At the time the outcome for his party was not so impressive… but now they are flourishing in the current conflict.

The answer is not to patch a wound up, hoping it will go away… but the process of healing is a dangerous one.

At the beginning of this year the 2 Cor. 12:12 proclamation of Paul that the signs of an apostle were done among them with great patience has impacted us. Patience is not inactivity, it is not passivity. Patience can only flourish on hope. Hope is that vision of the future, it is the cradle in which faith grows (faith is the substance of what we hope for). In many languages ‘to wait’ and ‘to hope’ are the same. True waiting is hope. It is waiting and acting because of a sure knowledge. The apostolic must be marked by patience. The seeds of the gospel of a new order for God’s world means we have to stay focused and can wait for a generation, a century or more.

Walk the land, hear the ancient prayers
echoes still resonating
disturbing the air.

Travel more silently, let the sound become clear
not a sound of despair
nor a sound of ‘listen to me’
but a sound… a sound that was heard long ago
the sound that marked an arrival in the Garden of God.

That sound still travels
still flies on the wings of the ancient prayers
holding back the chaos
even the chaos of Babylon’s order
the deception of Mammon’s reasonable voice.

Those prayers hold back
preserve space
call for a people
weak and trembling yet not shaken
nor proud as they make no claim to greatness.

Such are those who hear the ancient prayers
who cautiously take their place not knowing
if they qualify nor if they can make a difference to a world order that accelerates by day
and continues by night toward
the goal of rewarding the powerful and punishing the weak while hiding
its ravenous appetite to devour one and all until all
that was deemed good,
the image of the invisible is obliterated.

Yet the ancient prayers are calling again
the echo is clearer now, for there is a silent moment when those who pause
who wait with hope and hope as they wait will know that
there is space to be invisible yet through their invisibility will be revealed
the image
the image that points to the future and
slowly but surely pulls that future ever closer.

Those who wait will mount up
with wings
they will be renewed as they live in the now
yet not for today.

Those ancient prayers
– listen and ponder –
do they come from ancient times past
or from tomorrow?

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Is this the gospel?

2016-03-16 10:03:39
Our friend, Elly Lloyd emailed me a poem she wrote a few years ago, saying ‘I wrote this about three years ago,I didn’t really understand it then, but I knew it wasn’t the time, so I held it. I dug it out of my rusty old trunk today knowing I should send it to you and Gayle!’

Well the timing is great… so go ahead read:

Is this the gospel?

it’s more about trusting than knowing
it’s more about becoming smaller in the worlds eyes
    than growing

  it’s more about losing
    than gaining ground

  it’s more about letting go
    than holding on

    it’s more about weakness
    than staying strong

      it’s more about walking with others
        than going ahead

            it’s more about listening
            than what’s being said

            it’s more about giving than taking
          to where more becomes less
                and poor is rich

              it’s more about revolution than revolt
              to humbly live with the questions
                and ask

              is this the gospel?

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