Category: Personal Perspectives

Not sure why but been thinking over some prophetic words that had unexpected outcomes. There are so many that I am pretty sure the best way to interpret the prophetic is after the event. Peter’s use of Joel a few days before the Day of Pentecost and after would probably be quite different. Before – Joel is predicting… but after he says ‘This is that’.

In one setting I remember having a prophetic word reported to me that was given over a pastor concerning the eyes of the Lord being on him, never leaving him, the Lord travelling with him everywhere he went. Two or three days later it came out that he had been involved in an affair. At the time the expectation was that this was a word of deep comfort. Afterwards? Well afterwards it was also a word of deep comfort. Here is a God who cared deeply enough to go with this man wherever he went. Yes it would have been great had he never entered into the affair, and also better had he confessed after hearing the Lord speak to him… but in spite of ‘missing it’ that word is still a deep word of comfort assuring him of the presence of God.

I have, in a post a while back, covered how we respond to future prophetic declarations with an interpretation that comes from our expectations that have been shaped by where we have come from. (Peter in Matthew 16 is a classic example of this.) That really complicates things. We hear something, draw a straight line and then – caboom – we know what will happen.

What if there are prophetic words about God using a person as a wrecking ball? Expectation might be that s/he will wreck what we want wrecked and perhaps wreck what they are seeming to aim at. But what if the wrecking ball is on the religious self-preserving walls we have built and not on the evil secular house that we despise? Why would God do that? Judgment? Maybe but I think we always have to see what we think of as judgment as being merciful. That pastor who received the prophetic word about the eyes of the Lord was not so that he would forever fear (be afraid of) God, but that he would receive the unconditional love of God for only that keeps us focused on the right path.

If there is a wrecking of the religious walls it is because of love. Jesus did not prophesy the end of the temple because of some anger issue he had not dealt with. Something that had been allowed for a season, that God had appeared in, would no longer be a suitable channel for what was coming. Sadly we find it hard to let go of such things so find it very hard to embrace the enlarged expression of God. I do think there is something being wrecked at this time. The ball is swinging. But to see what the ball is hitting we need to look a little closer to home. Old political allegiances upheld by religion are being hit. I think we should be assured there is something else – not something perfect – that is on the horizon to connect with. And any connection will leave us softer in two directions – to God and to the world.

Gayle and I were not able to attend the recent Sparks conference at Ashburnham Place. In due course we will get some greater feedback but the little we have heard about it sounds great. We also watched this morning a video from the conference of a workshop that Brad Jersak hosted on ‘A more Christ-like God’. Worth watching…

In the presentation Brad used an illustration of being on a journey to cross (eg) London. His background, and many others of course, was that of the evangelical faith with a bias to seeing God as one who needs to be appeased. This ‘evangelical train’ can get one to the station but not across the city. There are then the options of getting out of the train but wandering in the station. Freedom at first but no onward journey. So the need is to find the next train, and one that maybe has the characteristics of ‘forgiveness’ could be an indicator of an appropriate train.

He described part of his own journey as moving from that evangelical train to seeing the value in a dispersed contemplative approach but then moved away from the dispersed aspect. Maybe similar to what Gayle and I read in Brian Zahnd’s book of Water to Wine.

I wonder if we have a bias that is hugely affected by our experience and personality (type)? I tentitively think our analogy might be more along the lines of, leave the station, take to walking, mix with crowd, learn the geography and amble across town. So we are not looking for the next train and do not think that this approach takes away the possibility of leaving the station.

All analogies are simply analogies and imperfect. Mine certainly leaves the question unanswered about intentionality of Christian community. Laying the analogy on one side we of course can defend ourselves (!!) by referring to the many meaningful and accountable connections we make with people who have been key to us over years – and we think mutually beneficial.

A deeper scenario in the current ‘train terminates here’ is probably over priorities. Does the intentional Christian community come first or is it embededness in the wider community? If we are interested in answering that I think that a whole host of things kick in. Our personality type (I can so make out how much I understand the Enneagram with statements like that!), the stage of faith we identify with, and also the context where we find ourselves. The latter should be fundamentally a gospel / mission question… And maybe God might help us find the context that fits our personality type, bring healing to us in the process and enables us to have some measure of effectiveness.

Even if none of the above is of interest (after all my comments and question is as a result of only a couple of lines in the video) the whole video carries a wonderful richness. Enjoy!!

We have just finished the more than excellent read ‘Water to wine’, and deeply impacted by the book. The humility and openness means there are rich pickings on the pages. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. I am not about to review the book, but there is a reflective path I am taking, partly provoked by the book, and also (maybe) partly provoked that Brian and Peri are about to start the Camino de Santiago, walking 500 miles, participating along the way in various church services, eucharists etc. In contrast(?) Gayle and I have just completed 2500 miles driving and looking ahead trying to call for a future that has never been – and with a few Celtic prayer reflections too… I don’t really think there is too much of a contrast but it has been interesting to reflect.

Church tradition – yes or no?

My (I will write for me, but most will also be reflective of ‘us’) whole Christian experience has been inside the Protestant, evangelical, then charismatic (and ‘new church’) stream. I have never been exposed to the more contemplative nor creedal forms of Christianity. Anabaptism has shaped my hermeneutical approach to Scripture. The weakness (strength?) of that is conviction that draws lines as to what is right and what is wrong, who is in and who is out. If the word ‘sect’ is defined positively (as in ‘sect’ not ‘cult’) then it fits that approach, if defined negatively (‘sectarian’) then that might also fit.

I have come to respect enormously what I have found in the wider historic traditions, and come to appreciate the various ‘services’ offered to the community by those either state churches or more established local churches. I am far from dismissive of that and seek to honour those who serve in those contexts. I would be disappointed to see them disappear.

However…

I see those institutions (and I am not using the word pejoratively) as pragmatic, as very helpful. Others seem to see those as the result of a sovereign God who works in and through history so that what we now have is more or less the result of the NT foundation. Tradition might have some dangers but the church tradition, the church fathers (and they were mainly male), the church councils etc., are all then extremely valuable.

So there is some sort of divide on how we view the trajectory from the past to the scene we have today. This does not necessitate a divide of a ‘right / wrong’ kind just a divide of perspective and of course therefore of focus and passion.

I am grateful for the creeds, but also read the church councils as having a political element. Constantine (and Eusebius) of course are on the wrong side for me, Christendom, state religion also are indicators of a major wrong turn in the road, monarchy anointed to rule by a bishop, monarchy as ‘head’ of church etc… I guess you get my drift.

Having written on the trajectory from priesthood for the nations, to Temple and how Jesus came to restore the church as priesthood to take responsibility for the world, I can easily take a pragmatic approach. God is in what he even sees as in opposition – seen clearly in the choice of monarchy. Jesus did not destroy the Temple, the Romans did that, and maybe had there been a greater level of repentance that event might have been averted. But Jesus did come to sow seed that eventually manifests as ‘I saw no Temple there’ – a city without a temple.

Thank God for wonderful traditions – they have proved to be pragmatic guidelines. Thank God for institutions that serve daily and weekly. But I too have to be true to my convictions.

There are those who are true to their convictions – serving inside the ‘local’ church, serving within the state church. Some move further toward the Catholic or Orthodox traditions either because of their convictions or a mixture of convictions and pragmatism.

Then there are those who live according to their convictions, not disrespecting those traditions, living pretty naïvely that there is another path that the NT points toward. Yes that is what brought me to find a home inside the ‘new churches’ with the restoration of the fivefold ministry etc. Recently I met someone from that background, a person that I had shared the same new church family with. He asked what am I doing, what my focus was. I replied that I am still the same as I was when I was in my early 20s, still naïvely believing we can change the world!

Maybe I am so far from ready to enter the second half of life, or maybe I have one naïvety that I am not willing to let go of. And maybe the ‘tradition is where God has brought us to’ kind of people just live out their life with another naïvety. What is for sure this is God’s world, he has never given up on it, and maybe somehow in both extremes he is found. At least I think I find God where I am.

Today is actually the day – a new rubik’s cube (last one did not survive a fall from the balcony) a book of Celtic prayers and… all very content. Was not planning on blogging but our friend Andrew Brims blogged this morning on San Lorenzo, so need to scribble a few words. To get a feel for this saint (who died Aug. 10, 258 aged 33) here is an extract from Andrew’s blog:

They ordered Lawrence, who was the deacon in charge of church finances, to hand over all the church’s assets or face being killed along with all his colleagues.
He asked for three days to get everything together, which he then spent distributing all the church’s goods amongst the city’s poor.
When the moment came to hand over the assets to the state, he simply presented the the blind, poor, disabled, sick, elderly, widows and orphans with the assertion, “These are the treasures of the church!”
The authorities decided a simple beheading would be too soft an example to set in Lawrence’s case. So they cooked him to death on a grid iron.
It’s alleged at one point during the ordeal he said to his executioners,
“you can turn me over, I’m done on this side.”

Our encounter with San Lorenzo goes back a couple of years. We were with good friends Roger & Sue M in Madrid showing them what we were connecting with when Rog said – we will soon find a sanctuary in this area that will hold some keys. A couple of streets and we came to the church of San Lorenzo. We went inside (not our habit) and read the above story with the connection to Lorenzo. His death date – my birthday. Also it stated there that he was born on Aug. 10th, though research says his dob is unknown.

Last summer Gayle and I took a trip to the city where he was born – Huesca, up toward the Pyrenees. We had an interesting time there praying. The city has this amazing historic source of faith and though there was some evidence of Lorenzo the larger (non-)saint that was was present was that of George!! The so called St. George has always proved problematic and not surprisingly we had quite some conflict there in the Spirit. Glad to have been there and spent the night, not sad to leave.

The above photo? In June this year a flock of more than a 1000 sheep were wandering the streets of Heusca during the night, due to the shepherd having fallen asleep. Maybe coincidental, maybe a sign that we have sheep without a shepherd, maybe a sign that the ‘sheep’ (us lot) are being loosed to be in the streets.

Whatever the sign or non-sign, here’s to you San Lorenzo. How much of the stories are myth surrounding him we might never know, but we are grateful for those who have gone before who have lived out an authentic discipleship.

I do have more on our encounters with Lorenzo and we will probably re-visit Huesca in November en route to the French side of the Pyrenees where a vital group (for us) will meet to pray. With a European focus we will also push into the Knight’s Templar. Those crusaders were one of the foundations of the banking system, so if we do get there through Huesca that will be a good route. God’s treasures always found among the marginalised. A different economy!

I have been ever so reflective now for the past few days. If I carry on I will either need to repent of this trend, accept I am maturing at a rate that could frighten me, or simply take a break so as I do not over-exhaust myself.

I am no expert on the Enneagram, I have belligerently sat through a most-beneficial course, never read a book on it from cover to cover, secretly find enough in there to be very helpful, but can still maneuver enough to keep it at bay. Personality types! Some people benefit from certain contexts, certain expressions of Christianity. It is not simply ‘heaven came’ and the rest is history. We connect with God through who we are, and we connect with ‘our’ God through who we are. Both the real God and the God I believe in comes to us in that way. For the Anabaptist the Gospels are the key hermeneutic to the Scriptures, for Jesus is the image of the invisible God. So that settles things… but those who hold that Jesus will return as ‘the ultimate Slayer’ also maintain that Jesus is the lens through which we know God. For them the Gospels simply reflect a portion of who Jesus is, hence God is love, but he is also wrathful etc., and will return to slaughter all enemies. We have our perspectives because of what we have been taught, what we read and consider for ourselves, and without doubt because of our personalities.

I like to find what I can object to. I value all the material on how conversations can be hosted. Pick up an object to contribute, listen when the person is contributing. Been there. Does not work for me. Surface reason? It is presented as a tool to facilitate conversation. I want them to say ‘we are doing this to control the situation’. Just be honest, I say on the inside. Just say ‘because we have people like Martin here we have to put some levels of control in as he can be a pain in these situations’. Now I am happy as we have set up an oppositional setting. At the surface level I claim it is now operating at an honest level so I affirm I am happy. At a deeper level it is not really revealing the issue with the object to be picked up, but as to what is going on inside. I still have not resolved that kind of situation. Not sure either that I want to. After all maybe it is controlling. Personality types.

I did OK in the charismatic context. Increasingly though I found there were some things that worked for me but I became less convinced they were working. Prophesying over individuals while we were together, picking people out who were under the anointing. A huge blessing to many, but I all-but stopped doing that as it became in danger of people more desiring another word than hearing God speak, of certain people receiving and others not. Is there a place for personal prophecy? A huge place. But how it is done can have a down-side.

Travelling to conferences, bringing in a ‘moving on word’ – worked for me. Eventually I found that I had choices. Be commodified or be true to oneself. The incompatibilities came when there were ‘green rooms’ and undue preferential treatment. Message – the release of the body, all are servants, there is no centre. Yet the symbolism was not always consistent with the message. There are always practical issues that surround conferences and the like, but there comes a line that we have to know is a line for us. My message meant I had to move away from the majority of conference scenes. Not because they are bad they simply became a not for me scenario. Exile is only exile if one has a promised land perspective.

I am incompatible with a number of church situations. They are too healthy for me and my presence will make them unhealthy. My agenda is not for them, so why should I try and make it important for them? For this reason I do not look for invites. God has connections for all of us, and we have to discover who we are to be the connection to in order that those people truly benefit from what God has placed in our lives.

I think as another number will quickly be attached to my age I will leave all this self-reflection on one side.

I posted yesterday about one reflection in two contexts. But before I go on to the second context – HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JUDITH.

The first was that of education – I did OK, for others it was probably a prison that did not train them in the way they should go but by default put limitations on their self-worth and value. The second I am more tentative about reflecting on, as my reflections are more recent (and many of the reflections come as I wake in the morning, not while I am in control during the day!).

The context is that of the charismatic, new church, progressive, call-it-what-you-want expression of the Christian faith. Wow did I benefit from my experience within that kind of movement. Enormously. It has shaped me like nothing else has. Yes I love to claim to be Anabaptist, even to be influenced a bit by the Eastern strand of the historic faith, but the reality is gifts of the Spirit, prophesying, slapping on of hands, prophetic vision – all of that is inside me to this day. I love the rhetoric. I met a while back with a Brit pastor who was out here and he asked me about the EU and any thoughts I had about it and ‘end-times’. After pontificating that it had nothing to do with the end-times went on to proclaim and if it did, and the antiChrist was about to manifest in and through the EU that would be the very reason why I would vote to stay in. I love all of that. I love it when Gayle and I get to Madrid. Walk the streets of the city, the capital, the big one, praying. Even if it is fantasy I love it, it is somewhere in my bloodstream.

Strong leadership, definite direction, God has spoken and we are the ones who know what he has said. I did OK in all that and I am not about to rubbish it. I have witnessed too many incredible changes in health – many instantaneous, prayed into situations and read newspaper headlines that are verbatim what was prayed into, to rubbish it. I am very grateful for the background. I am not about to rubbish it either for I am an unashamed charismatic when I read the NT. Paul in Galatians does not appeal to a date when they believed but to an experience they had, with a continual working of miracles in their midst as his appeal that they do not abandon their direction and come under legalism. Charismatic experience is central to me, and I don’t think I just read it there – I actually think it is there to be read.

Yet I have learnt (yes I think I have learnt something) over the years that some people prosper in certain situations and others do not. Some people prosper for a time and then later find the situation to be not so prosperous, indeed the situation might become a negative context for them.

So this is my second context. I wish I had not fitted in so well. I wish I had challenged us (and this was an ‘us’ not a ‘them’) to give people more space, more room not to fit in. More room not to be committed so intensely, to explore other avenues, other expressions of the wonderful faith.

Maybe I really am maturing. I am more appreciative now of difference than ever before. I appreciate the liturgical – so much so I did it for 5 whole days! I also have to be true to my roots, believing it is the way God led me, and it is how the Scriptures resonate with me. Being true to my roots is to try and live outside the box, with more respect than before for those who are being true to where they find life. I want to be a more objectionable voice to the self-assured structures that promise life, rather than release people to their destiny. When I do hit 61 at least I will have a focus.

I was quite happy the other day. I had to visit the bank. In discussion with the person behind the desk, eventually letting them know that money is not what motivates us, she let out a good strong Spanish swear word at quite a volume, calling on me loudly ‘just do something’. A small success, frustration that I would not do something that indicated that we could fit in. All structures, gifts and ministries are here to serve the people not the other way round. That is my voice that if true will be objectionable.

August is a fun month. A month that supposedly honours Augustus Caesar – so that in itself is enough to make one either laugh or respond with a good healthy ‘no way’. I’ve always enjoyed August and have had a few of them now in my life. Somewhere in this month is a date when I mark one more year on the planet – yes a birthday comes round. I’ve said before that when I was 39 Sue asked me what I wanted to do when I was 40 – ‘I don’t want to mark that as 40 is almost nothing. What can one do by the time one is 40? Maybe ask again when I am 55,’ was my response. Of course once I did get to 55 I didn’t feel a lot different!

Anyway I thought maybe I would not blog during the month of August – time out, but here I am 6.00am with keyboard being bashed away. This post might not connect with many, and probably will not connect with those who have made the shift from immaturity to maturity by the time they reached 40, or even earlier. Richard Rohr writes about the two halfs of one’s life (or is that halves?). By now I apparently should have entered the second half. Not having read the book – like why would I want to do that? – but my guess is I am not yet too close to making the transition. I think transitions are better made if there is a measure of reflection. Learn from the past, make some adjustments and the future direction is on a better course.

I have many memories (and I think some are probably bad and some are probably good). I just don’t remember them. No that is not meant to be funny. I simply do not remember them – I don’t think about them, I don’t recall them, if they seek to rise up I move on. I don’t have time for that… maybe then the second half of life is still a long way off? In the midst of all this immaturity, first half of life orientation, I have had two reflections, or maybe better one reflection into two phases of my life. One reflection and I am about to hit 61… well one reflection is better than none.

I appreciate the reflectors. They have a gift that I do not have. Last week Gayle and I did a week (we managed 5 days so almost a week) of following a liturgical pattern of prayer – creeds, book of common prayer, and a good one in there from St. Francis. Beneficial, but tough. That way of doing things requires reflection, contemplation. Contemplating concerning God also ties with self-reflection. After 5 days maybe we (I) need to move on. ‘Move on.’ Now that is a good mantra. Give your energies to that, to the days you have never yet had. Apparently the downside is that we are meant to learn from the past, and again apparently, that requires self-reflection.

So what is the one reflection on life I have now that I have completed part of the first half of my life? It is I did pretty well in the contexts where I found myself but was not enough of an objectionable voice to the status quo on behalf of those who did not benefit from the system. My first reflective context is the educational system. Learning (now there is a euphemism) Spanish has been good for me. Not making the grade, not connecting… everything I did not experience within education, but probably that is exactly what a number of others did experience, as they found that for them education was anything but an enjoyable experience. If we could go back in time with what we know now, I would love to go back and be an objectionable voice on behalf of those that the system did not bring life to but imprisoned.

Rabbie Burns wrote:

O wad some Pow’r the giftie gie us
To see oursels as ithers see us!

I think I would write (with adjustment to the language):

And would some Power (God) give us the gift
To convert the system to seeing others!

(Almost had another reflection there, but quickly moved on… Almost thought that maybe I see the systems as being the problem, that they need changing, and of course through a good well aimed kick in the Spirit, rather than I need to change and see others. Glad it was only a momentary thought.)

Anyway less than a week to go to the birthday and I think I must be getting ever-so-close to the second half of my life – after all I have had a reflection. So maybe the second half of my life will be about being an objectionable voice and not fitting in. Or maybe that refection marks I am about to enter the first half of my life? Either way, the reality is once the reflection is over, life is there to be lived and off we go again, though I do hope that over the past 7 years a greater level of not fitting in, of kicking against the self-assured structures have marked whatever half of life I am in.