Never had a doubt…

With or without a question mark? Doubt – not an enemy of faith, though it can be, or it can be a servant on the journey of faith.

First the big picture. Yes I have doubted many times and asked the question – even the question of ‘is there a God’? When all is well maybe the doubts don’t come, but I have noticed there are times when not all is well with life. Then there are the huge issues of suffering that I think demand a VERY heavy leaning into a God who does not control. Anyway what bottoms things out for me I think are three aspects:

The resurrection of Jesus. People just do not rise from the dead in that way – crucified, buried and on the third day not simply revived but resurrected. Fulfilling the Jewish hope that at the end of the ages those who died in faith will be resurrected. Ever such a crazy faith that we buy into. That in an obscure eastern province of the Roman empire someone has been crucified (there were times when thousands were crucified within the same immediate time frame) and has been raised from the dead and as a result there is a public message that Caesar is certainly not lord etc… And the first believers were Jews. WOWOOOWOOW.

The testimonies of Scripture and within history – many have gone before me, many through martyrdom. (Maybe other faiths would claim the same, but tied to the resurrection of Jesus, my convictions are strengthened.)

And thirdly my own experience. It lines up with what I read, and the Christian faith is experiential; it is relational. Paul wrote to the Galatian believers and appealed to their experience as one of the reason to pull back from legalism with ‘Did you experience so many things in vain?’. John Wesley had as one of his quadrilaterals ‘experience’.

Yes doubts, and yes if I were God things would be different! But faith like an anchor that holds on to heaven’s realities.

And the small picture. Last night we had a look at Pisa’s leaning tower. Amazing. But today we will hit the old border of the ‘Two Sicilies’. Sounds crazy but the border is between Rome and Naples – the two Sicilies being a kingdom that had a centre in Naples and one in Palermo. The night we have just had was restless and disturbed. Doubts on the one hand – what are we doing… nothing certain; no accommodation set before us… Are we simply stupid (no answers on a postcard).

And not surprising…. we are small people so small adventures can be very challenging to us; but also angels are waiting. They are often encountered at night at borders (read the entry and re-entry of Jacob). We will stay on the border two days… who knows? Maybe we will leave with doubts; maybe we will leave strengthened; maybe we will encounter some hospitality and never realise there were angels involved… maybe 100 possibilities.

Whatever takes place for sure I will have my doubts but underneath it all will not be strong faith, but the eternal God. So be encouraged today should any reader have a doubt or two!

Only 1800kms to go

We are en route – honestly we are. Just took a very important detour:

‘Home’ to Freiburg

The detour is simply to spend 2 days with Yannick, Jenny, Pheline, Samuel. A family we have known over the last decade or so. Honest, earthy, pray-ee type people. Why detour – to be with them, but also following the incident with Paul where he was ‘dragged out of the city… he got up and went back into the city’ we are absolutely standing with them for that. One more day here in an open city – and open of course to all kinds of spirituality. A creative, innovative city, alive with and for young people.

And a great piece of advice on the side of the kiosk: ‘pray… love… eat… sleep… repeat’. Wow – we can all do that and wherever we live would be healthier for it.

Another day here and then through Switzerland and into Italy, stopping one night (somewhere) and then on the following day to the old border between ‘the papal states’ and ‘the kingdom of the two Sicilies’. On the west side that border ran roughly half way between Rome and Napoli. The kingdom of the two Sicilies had two centres – Napoli and Palermo and was very active during the Bourbon reign – the royal line from Aragon in Spain. A few weeks ago we had a call with Jenny and Yannick (where we are currently staying) who both contributed that when we crossed a border there was to be a meeting with angels… we sensed immediately this was not a current border (France / Italy for example) but an ancient border. Research and up comes this ancient border. In Scripture angels are encountered at borders (see the travels of Jacob in and out of his land. Who knows what that will look like, but if there is a contribution that heavenly servants of God are to make to these two ‘close to clueless’ earthly travellers we are up for that.

Anyway that is 2 days away… and I must quickly get a shower as the next few days showers might not be accessed on a daily basis!!!

The time has arrived

Very dramatic title… and not as significant as similar statements from John the Baptiser and on the lips of Jesus, but somewhat significant for us. Well we were so sure we would be going on Friday, so maybe this is the first plan of ours not to be exactly as we envisioned it? (Cut us some slack even Paul twice tried to move in a direction and the Holy Spirit had to resist him… oh and least he had a dream of a ‘man’ in Macedonia so followed the dream and met a… woman.)

We were not ready on Friday but today has arrived. And I also had ordered a package on Oct. 15th that I was unaware was sourced in China. It was due Friday, but they could not deliver it on Friday. Apparently a traffic issue; digging a little deeper the ‘last mile’ of the company is delivered by electric scooters – I think the traffic issue was the battery needed recharging. Anyway after multiple contacts with the company it arrived yesterday.

Anyway we are now an hour or so away from going ‘por la mañana’. That last phrase is definite – ‘in the morning’, but we (in good Spanish custom) when asked about when we are going could always reply (until today) with ‘mañana’. We think that might mean ‘tomorrow’, and it kinda does but also means ‘not today’. In English we have all kinds of ways to express uncertainty, but the (joke) in Spanish is they have nothing as definite as those phrases, they do have that word ‘mañana’ but it is certainly not as definite as ‘maybe’, ‘one day sometime’ etc. Anyway ‘mañana por la mañana’ has come and we will be gone – as soon as cup of coffee is drunk, floors are washed.

Tonight France, Sunday Germany to be with Yannick and Jenny in Freiberg, then head south through Switzerland (I bought a year long permit yesterday to drive through Switzerland – runs out in January, so a little peeved that we will only use the permit for a few hours), to Italy… not sure how many stops en route (my schoolboy French, along with the word ‘le weekend’) and down to the ferry.

And then? Well we have nowhere scheduled, do not have a place to stay (come on AirBnB sort out your prices), and have no fixed plan. Old capital of Syracuse, cities of Messina, Catania and Palermo (where or nearby where we think we will settle) will certainly be visited… and definitely Agrigento: try this to get an idea of one of the 7 preserved temples there:

By Berthold Werner – Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=23442211n

An adventure for sure but like us all we take a small step / short drive to make a contribution to the recovery of the Pauline gospel…that good news that we can ‘see’ a new creation and be heralds of and witnesses to that future.

How fast can you go?

Maybe the question should be ‘How fast should we move at?’ or ‘What pace will get you there?’. Here we are Wednesday and not yet gone to Sicily – though Friday comes and we go! (A couple of weeks back we thought it would be Tuesday (yesterday).) A delay, or getting the right pace?

One of my mentors who travelled incessantly with me 1998 onwards used to quote Prov. 19:2,

…and one who moves too hurriedly misses the way.

When praying (maybe a month back) re our entry to Sicily it seemed clear to us that we were not going to enter quickly but the pace would pick up once we arrived (It better had as we have no accommodation there!). We have slowed down, not by deliberate choice, but a couple of circumstantial issues, that initially frustrated us (‘we want to get going!’) but have come to realise that it has forced us to slow down and see what rhythm we need to run (‘walk?’) at. Then this morning Gayle says… ‘I have been awake in the night and I wonder if we need to spend some days in…’, and the ‘in’ adds some 8 hours to our already 24 hour of driving. Ah well.

But bigger picture I wonder if God is teaching us a little – and the ‘us’ could be a larger ‘us’ than ‘us’. Lazarus is dead, so let’s get there… or wait a few more days. Those who wait on the Lord… maybe could be translated as ‘Those who others think are using up valuable time when they could just get on with it…’

I remember the words from the ‘MasterMind’ quiz program, ‘I’ve started so I will finish’. The buzzer went while asking the question but the host would always finish the question. I have started, and Paul spoke about finishing the race (maybe it was Priscilla, the author of Hebrews who said that?). Whoever said it (and sadly it is not likely that Priscilla wrote Hebrews) was talking about how we end our life’s journey, but I think we can apply it to every aspect. And if we learn the appropriate pace we certainly have more chance of finishing what we were so excited to be in at the beginning.

The long haul remains something we have to focus on. Given the global crisis (combination of crises) we might need to be ‘bailed out’ so we continue to pray ‘maranatha’ but continue to work on the basis of the inbuilt arc of the universe is toward justice (as described by many) or as journeying toward new creation.

And the long haul is made up of multiple small responses. And increasingly we need to learn to make the small response (scaling out, as I heard someone recently say, and not scaling up) alongside everyone else making their small response. One sows, another waters – both take time – and then there is an increase.

Timing is important, but also the pace with which we connect to the timing. So let’s see – Friday surely is not too soon?

After six years

So goes the title in this Guardian article: Spain expresses regret over ‘injustice’ suffered by Mexico’s Indigenous people during conquest with the opening paragraph being:

Spain has acknowledged and expressed regret over the “pain and injustice” suffered by the Indigenous people of Mexico during its conquest of the Americas, heralding a shift in tone after six years of diplomatic spats over the abuses of the colonial period.

After SIX years…

We don’t have the exact date but in 2017 I wrote A few years ago we went up to Colon (Columbus) square, Madrid, to pray the day before the so-called Columbus Day… maybe it was in 2015 and Gayle had painted a protest piece of art proclaiming (with a question mark) whether this was really ‘indigenous peoples’ day’ rather than ‘Columbus day’. We hid the painting amidst fairly strict security in a tree beneath where a huge Spanish flag was raised. I am sure later that day the painting would have been removed as the site was secured for the national display the next day. A few years later our friends from Calpe were in Mexico and carried a repentant spirit for the historic abuse on the land.

Two ways of looking at the outcome of ‘after six years of diplomatic spats’. A one to one connection – ‘we’ did this and look what happened; or coincidence as it would have happened anyway. And probably the reality is somewhere in between. Certainly the ‘we’ did this has to be significantly softened. When we think we are the only ‘we’ we will miss it totally, but I do carry a conviction that the body of Christ carries a responsibility to help clear ground so that genuinely ‘good works’ can be done by whoever stands in that place of implementing a shift. Here is a sweet statement from one of Sanchez’ cabinet:

It’s a very human history and, like every human history, it’s had its light and its shadows,” he said. “And there has also been pain – pain and injustice towards the Indigenous people to whom this exhibition is dedicated. There was injustice and it’s right to recognise that today and to be sorry for that, because it is also part of our shared history, and we can neither deny nor forget it.

I set up a WhatsApp group a while back entitled ‘not many smart’ as I m convinced that none of us are that smart. And certainly that is something that will accompany us as we travel (hopefully this week) to Sicily. We, excellent representatives of being qualified to belong to all ‘not many smart’ groups, will probably do something from time to time that will appear so limited, small and meaningless… and I hope over the next six months a stack of other people do the same. There will be no straight lines for any of us such as ‘we did / prayed this and look what took place’; some of it might be absolutely meaningless, but maybe between us all we might just be able to read in a few years’ time that something has changed. I am encouraged to continue to give it a clueless go. Hope you are too.

Young people… 55 and above

I had an interesting day yesterday. The first three emails I received and replied to were from people I either rarely hear from or never hear from. The first was from the wife of a couple who were the first people in 1997 to invite Sue and myself to a meal when we had moved into Cobham. (We were not married yet so had meals with our respective hosts: Ralph and Ruth, Richard and Linda… but Rosemary and Rob were the first to invite us outside of our hosts.) I probably have not seen / talked to Rosemary in 25 years. The second email was from a very gracious minister who has worked across Baptist churches (and beyond) and is somewhat restricted with respect to how much travel can now be done. The third email was to let me know that her father at 91 had recently passed away. Kitt was someone I met on a few occasions and was always impacted by his humility and desire to be always moving forward.

History impacting the present. Rewards from heaven for those who have been faithful. And impacts in my life. I wish to be faithful to leave a mark for others who are younger or more recently on the trail of following Jesus, but I also seek to keep my eye on those who are further along the journey and honour their faithfulness (an early email this morning I received was from a couple who are ‘celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary this year’).

By the time I was replying to those three emails I recalled (and I have written about this elsewhere) that in 1991 I was in South Africa at Easter and one morning ‘saw’ a number of things to come. One was a sizeable number of young people who had caught the fire of God (not surprising as there was much talk of an army of ’11th hour workers’) but what caught my attention was that alongside this was a whole group of those who were 55 years old and above. The group might not have been the same size but it was certainly equally,and probably more, effective. Those people were mixed. Some had ‘early retirement’, some had been content to be attenders, others had thought that they were now too far through their lives to make a difference in our planet… but they all had the same element in common. They had recognised they had one life and whether the years remaining were short or long they were repositioning themselves and for many their latter years were more effective than all those years that had gone before.

I appreciate post 55, and certainly post 65, our energy levels drop, other challenges come in to slow us down and restrict us. But… if we are not looking for the public profile there will always be accidental and deliberate ‘cups of cold water’ and ‘2 coins in the treasury’ that can be done. I have been meditating on Paul (I call him a friend much to Judith’s amusement!) being dragged out of the city and left for dead. If we were to shrink the passage we would read, ‘dragged out… got up and went back in’. Love that.

Time for those of us not so young to find out what that might mean for us.

A number of people who are roughly my age (55+) have said to me recently ‘why can’t we do…’ In other words it is a mindset shift that has been provoked in them.

I have been frustrated (ask Gayle) why the average of those who join me on Zoom meetings is around 105 years old (ask Gayle I never exaggerate) – where are the 23 year olds I ask. They might come; they might not come. But what a resource for kingdom involvement is present with those who can only just remember what 23 looked like.

I honour those who have walked this path before and have gone on to receive a reward; I desire to see those who are 23 carrying a level of maturity that maybe a 46 year old and who have no fear; but I also see that now is an opportunity for the breath of heaven come to those who are no longer 23 but still have time left.

Got to make sure I have some cold water and am ready to deposit those coins.

An audio to listen to (or not)

Noel Richards (people think he is a really nice person but he blocked me on email for over a year – more below on this) and I have just recorded with Martin Purnell (of ‘Off Grid Christianity’ fame) our fourth Christmas special. The normal bizarre quiz in which I think I gained ‘nil point’ but did win (in my mind) cos of bonus points. The episode will come out some time around Christmas and we did overrun by more than an hour, so some serious editing to be done! In one of the ‘off the record as you have gone off-piste but could we pursue this…’ the conversation somehow got on to ‘penal substitution’. Anyway Martin P has saved it as a stand-alone recording. It would need a bit of extra work to reach a doctorate level but here it is:

The ‘off grid Christianity’ podcasts can be checked out at:

https://www.accessradio.biz/series/ogc/


And as an extra bonus (we all like bonus points) – try this ‘Gospel in Chairs’ with Brad Jersak.


Oh and the bonus points – I put in a claim for 2 on the basis that when Martin Purnell sent us an email with suggestions I was always the one to reply first. Noel was tardy. He did claim that there was no expiry date to the emails but I was certainly worth 2 points for my all-but immediate replies. And then I claimed 2 more as Noel had blocked my emails for over a year – claiming that he only did that as he had a lot of spam from emails with the suffix ‘.eu’. Claiming that it was nothing personal. Lame excuse.

Joining the Zoom on ‘Reconciliation’?

Tomorrow night (Wednesday) UK time at 19:30 I will host a Zoom meeting /discussion that is based on what I have written on ‘Reconciliation: in four ways’. If you plan to join the Zoom link is below:

https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5728039267?pwd=NEozVVM0Z1NJSDFKKzNwdG9KUDc5dz09&omn=84117477173

ID: 572 803 9267
Passcode: 5GkMTA

If joining please either watch a short video or read the pdf document:

Pdf document can be read / downloaded here: Reconciliation in four directions

There is no need to agree with what I propose but we do need to listen to agreements that we disagree with as well as opinions that we agree with.

A stroll in the city

I arrived home last night at 11:00pm after a 7 hour bus journey from Madrid, having been there for a few days to walk the city. So some disclaimers first – no idea what was achieved and certainly am aware that so much of what we (OK, ‘I’) do is for us even when we think we are doing this for ‘God’s kingdom’. I hope it was worthwhile and one day (maybe) will find out. Until then we seek to do whatever we think might be what we ‘should’ be doing in response to our discipleship.

Practically first. Schoolboy error (not the first one I have made) is to walk with shoes that are not fully broken in. I have two pairs of running shoes – one that is on the way out, but still good but covered in paint from when I painted the roof this year. I have another pair that I have been using to drive in and to go and get a few groceries – after a couple of hours I soon discovered they were not fully worn in, and over the following two days used over 200ml of vaseline to oil my way to the finish – more vaseline covering my feet than socks, methinks.

I chose to start and finish at San Lorenzo metro station. I have posted regarding the above mentioned gentleman before. 258, August 10th he came to the end of his life on this planet having been put to death at command of the emperor when his response to being commanded to bring the wealth of the church to the emperor was:

Here are the treasures of the church. You see, the church is truly rich, far richer than your emperor!

He presented those who were blind, physically disabled and impoverished. Not the response that was desired! But what a place to start – values. Any city, any civilisation, any society has to understand true values, and all values are measured by a truly human standard.

I will not document every step but pick up on a few aspects – basically I walked the city from the north east (San Lorenzo) south to finish the first day at Puerta de Alcala (near Retiro park); from there through Atocha station to the south and then turning north at Piramedes and Puerta de Toledo, past the royal palace to the university and then turning east back to San Lorenzo. The north of the city is wealthier, wider streets, bigger houses, people dressed with ‘better’ clothing, then the south (Lavapies for example) was in some contrast with for example right in front of me the police stopping their patrol car and jumping out to confront someone demanding their ID. Probably he was a little high, (un)like a much better dressed person in another part of the city who might be acceptably ‘high’ on having signed a very lucrative deal that day. Values!

What stood out to me was what I saw in the various gates. Try these photos:

End of first day: Puerta de Alcala… from the bullring to Alcala to the fountain of Cybele to the bank of Spain to parliament – draw a straight line, for those who give credence to something along the lines of ‘ley-lines’). Alcala was one of the original gates into the city.

On the south side of the city there is an interesting twin obelisks that then give an entrance to the Puerta de Toledo. Obelisks are of Egyptian origin erected in honour of the sun god, with prisoners of war sacrificed in order to draw the power of the sun god.

Twin obelisks

Standing between these two obelisks then pointing north and one would walk right through the Puerta de Toledo:

More ‘gates’… this one is quite spectacular with a conglomeration of arches and monuments – making quite a statement:

Plaza de Castilla

There were other gates too – and probably ones I missed. One marking the entrance to the bull ring and one ‘off the map’ to the north west in the ‘iron gate’ that unless I wanted to stand in the middle of the freeway I had no direct access to. (That would have been beyond my second ‘schoolboy error’.)

The gates are so often a place of contention and even with some initial tracking of alignments of the gates it seems there is some convergence on the parliament building – also with other aspects such as the obelisk at Plaza de Lealtad.

The major aspect of why I wanted to walk and pray the city was to follow up on what we sensed when we first moved to Madrid (and to complete before moving to Sicily) was that of seeking to hold the government and judiciary in to a wholesome mode of being and behaviour. In big langauge I wanted to make sure that over the next years the government and judiciary cannot ‘escape’!

I am sure there are those who can prayer walk and be effective, I am not claiming to be one of those, but after the Toledo gate I came to the royal palace, then the Temple of Debod (literally moved from Egypt to Spain) and it sits with an East/west alignment and directly outside it on the wall is a sculpture to a fallen soldier from the civil war – this being the area where the entrance was made into the city.

So much more I could add but having started the walk at San Lorenzo with the issue of values the final photo has to be of ‘homeless Jesus’ asleep on a bench outside the main Cathedral (where the rich and famous are interred, including Franco’s daughter – but NOT him, thank God).

So what was achieved? Something cos God is gracious and listens to prayers but of course a percentage of what we do ‘for God’ is more for us and our own little ideas. Here’s to many of our own little ideas combining to sow into the future where values are measured differently, measured by the stature of the incarnated One.

So Madrid?

Not sure how much of ‘life’ I understand – probably about as much of the Bible as I understand. Loose ends; things not tied up; dots that don’t connect. Maybe that is just me?

It was a significant battle to get ourselves into Madrid, some of which I have recounted in previous posts from years back; perhaps the most bizarre bit was a clause in the contract that in the light of it we were advised to ‘not touch this with a barge pole’ but felt to proceed. It meant that there was a gap between parting with the money and receiving the property when the seller could indeed walk with the money and keep the property. We sensed that was the risk we were to take. In the evening before the legal work the following day we managed to track down who the seller was and that he owned a shop a few streets away. We googled the shop and found only one review… ‘do not deal with this man he is a thief’. Ah well…

We spent much time in Madrid, most days would go to the parliament and pray outside as well as a host of other activities. Then along came COVID and we heard from the grapevine that Madrid would be closed the following day. We left early as we had people due to visit us in Oliva. Madrid was closed and we were unable to go back for quite a period of time. Currently we have a rentee in the apartment, at a very good price for him, as we have to do something that pushes back against the monetary system that dictates.

And the future? Would love to be back there on a longer term basis, but who knows. I will travel up next week and over 3 days walk the perimeter of the city – a small act that I think will settle this part of the journey. Would love to be back there long term but am very aware that many aspects of what we engage with are not fulfilled in the way we think they would. It is the principle of ‘seed’ into the ground for the next phase, and this is where I consider a number of us probably fail to move on well as we hang on for something more in the context that we need to move on from. As for Madrid, we don’t know what this means.

I do know (wow, Martin you are sure you know?)… OK a rephrase. I have a perspective that God is a forward moving God and that Jesus is not about to return today or even tomorrow. We have not yet run out of time to see amazing shifts in our world. [Sidenote: I think the whole pre-, post-, a-millennial approaches are not where it is at; I am not convinced that there is very much in the NT that fuels speculation… loads to encourage us to live today as what is done today provides the building-blocks for the future age.] And here is my perspective that Europe having been the cradle of the gospel and of Christendom can fully throw off the clothing of Christendom and also discover the Pauline gospel that carried a vision of a new creation (Paul makes a rather abrupt statement in 2 Cor. 5:17 ‘So if anyone is in Christ, new creation: everything old has passed away; look, new things have come into being’.)

A bumpy, most challenging path ahead. Not one that will see a mega-church on every street corner, but could see ordinary people (are there any other types of people?) taking responsibility for a neighbour, a street, a business, a school. Enabling space to come where people can find that where they live is nothing other than a gateway from heaven to earth (Acts 17:26; Gen. 28:17).

Back to Madrid. No one is the saviour of the world other than… I want to walk – a small act – where I simply want to put my feet to say that a manifestation of God’s reign will be obscurely shown in the governmental and judicial spheres of Spain. Not perfectly, but certainly not in opposition to God. I note that there is a big push in certain quarters for government and the judiciary to serve an agenda, that agenda being understood by some as ‘Christian’ but I consider is aligned to ‘Christendom’, motivated, I believe, by a desire to see Christendom extend its life.

There is loss in order for there to be gain. Jesus said ‘better I go’ to the disciples. Really? Better, and more difficult. The next 15 or so years will be tumultuous at crazy levels, but right or wrong in that perspective, God will not abandon us. We will lose some good things, good things that have come our way at a price… but there is always a hope that does not disappoint.

Madrid we always saw as leverage point for Spain. Maybe we need to get back there ere long. Maybe we need to take some new inadequate steps in new direction?

Perspectives