Ever wake up where things become clear, like ‘that really makes sense’? I did this morning. Some really smart revelation… feel quite good about that.
Be yourself, everyone else is taken.
A really insightful quote from Oscar Wilde. One we can all agree with and nod to, probably not so easy to live out. And given that salvation is freedom from all hostile powers (including that central one of (singular) sin) so that we can fly to be truly ‘us’ we should really not only nod but give it a big thumbs up.
Part of the journey toward maturity (I think!) is to discover the baggage we have carried with us. So, my revelation, not quite a new one, but one that crystalised and made sense. A VERY smart revelation was I am really not very smart.
Back in the UK I had a wonderful library of books, maybe around 5000 or so. The latest (then) on the Dead Sea Scrolls, maybe a minimum of 3 commentaries on every NT book, all the main OT ones covered, articles, subscribing to three theological journals. How I have missed them. Then I realised I did not have the ability to read them! So better they have gone. I enjoy running some zoom groups, and I think most people have enjoyed them; there was one group though that I pulled out of. They were far too smart for me. Someone asked if they were trained theologians… no, they simply understood the English language and were able to read. I used to run the group in our lounge and Gayle was sitting on the settee, as the discussion progressed I had to ask Gayle constantly ‘what does that mean?’, either related to a word being used (and I am sure a common word for the majority of people) or a concept that I had no idea what it was. That was perhaps the best group yet for me. It helped me see that the ‘not so smart’ qualification was something I was excelling at.
Gayle is a lot of fun to be with. She is smart and knows how to fly (figuratively). I said to her this morning that in the years we have been together I have so enjoyed it and also like never before discovered how ‘not smart’ (trying to avoid using the ‘stupid’ word) I am. It is only coincidental that my discovery connects with the years we have been married, she certainly has not caused it!
Through those reflections it is possible to come to ‘silver and gold I do not have…’ which is quite good. Of course we have to get to the ‘but what I do have…’; yet the two halves seem to be good to have in place.
Expectations… from within, from others. Perceptions of others. Probably none of them too helpful. Be yourself… not impressive… limitations…
Limitations. Yes that is really important. I remember years ago hearing someone give a critique of Christian TV (it could have been a critique of anything). He explained that so often the money raising was because they are reaching xxx million people; this person then went on to say, ‘not really true’. The transmission might indeed cover that number of people, cover that percentage of the globe, but when we talk ‘reaching’ there is an element where that is shaped by who turns the ‘on’ button on and then engages with it. Potential (and sometimes that is unrealistic potential) is something that can fool us. Realistic limitations (that can be pushed back) are part of discovering what the true potential is. We should not be frightened about discovering limitations. Once we do, then we can begin to exercise who we are within those limitations.
Wisdom. As one gets older one is supposed to get more wisdom. But I am not sure I understand what is true wisdom. The Queen of Sheba was impressed with Solomon, with the ‘half having not even been told’. Impressed with what? That a young humble guy was fast developing a path that would enable the Pharaonic system to embed itself in the nation is an example of great wisdom? Maybe the younger Solomon with his crazy suggestion of ‘cut the baby in two’ was the one who really had captured the heart of wisdom.
I thank God for smart people. We need them.
I am looking for a new level of ‘hiddenness’ , one that is deeper than the past 12 years. Drop down a level, count the number of ears, rather than try to expand the mouth. Be at home with encounters with the demonic. Now that one makes me smile and brings me energy. Theologically I am really not sure about the world of the demonic, too much seems to be made of it from mythical passages, and if truth be out I have no real insight as to whether the Scriptures suggest we should believe in a personal devil or not. Probably, as far as my view goes, theologically I have no Scriptures in my favour; maybe evolution and what I think the trajectory of the biblical story pushes for might be something that at least gives me 1 out of 10 in any exam I was to sit. I smile cos I enjoy a good bruising with that realm!
‘Silver and gold’… ‘No smart answers coming from this source; sorry I simply do not have the ability to engage with that cos I don’t understand it’…
So there you have it, my revelation this morning, and ever so liberating. I thought I would put it down here as it helps me, and maybe there is a reader or two who is meeting the limitations of ‘I am not very…’ But what I do have, the uniqueness of me – rest in that, for your ‘you’ and my ‘me’ will be so small, so like a couple of drops in that big ocean. I kinda think that is where this whole thing started way back in the day of the impressive Roman rule. And I kinda think we are increasingly coming back to it… the multiplicity of the small, and the richness of diversity.