Perspectives

Feels like I am treading on thin ice, any minute now it could break. Vulnerability is not a location with which I am familiar! So many helpful tools out there, I am pretty ignorant of most of them, have a small acquaintance with the ‘enneagram’ which like all those tools does not put one in a box, but helps one to see what box you are already in. Gayle and I have almost completed an online course, so I am now pretty qualified to write about all of her weaknesses… maybe I have got the wrong end of the stick? It has been ever so helpful. We are so alike and so unalike, though thinking to myself, she does have plenty of time to adapt and change… surely?

Anyway one of the early comments was ‘there is one type on the enneagram that is really happy with themselves and don’t really see the need to change’. I thought ‘I hope she reveals that as I would love to know who that would be’. Gayle keeps quiet and at the end of the session out it comes – me!! How true.

I have 7 siblings, my mother 1 of 13 so I reckon between us all we probably hold the entire DNA for the human race, including I am sure the DNA of the Neanderthal race – I am just trying to work out who got what as I know that I know my DNA will come back as pure… of course. Anyway, a little more serious, an elder brother has written an excellent reflection on his life and in early chapters he writes about the Scotts and the Eunsons (parental lines). As I read this I shout to Gayle, ‘You have to read this chapter in Ken’s book. It’s about his parents, it is incredible!’

Although I do realise they were also my parents, there was more to the comment than a little bit of humour. First, we all have different experiences of parents and home life. Mine was independence. A farm has fields, many fields, a boy has a football. Perfect. Eating? Well that can be done in 6 minutes and off again.

#8 on the enneagram is quite happy in their own company. They normally learn to spell relationships / friendship much later in life, as those elements can simply get in the way. Unbelievably I had another birthday this year, and so now I can begin to think occasionaly about reflecting back to an earlier life (I have not read stuff on ‘second half of life’ but probably should get round to that in one of the coming decades). So with deep reflection, that I will think about a few times as I go on my four trains today to get to my destination tonight, here are my six words for today:

Standing strong alone or leaning in?

I am in the UK and tomorrow travel to Amblecote (where is that I hear you ask)… the who is more important than the where, so it is with Adrian and Marion Lowe and then a team on Friday for the day. Adrian introduced me to ‘The Six Word Story’. Here is a good post to read expalining it:

https://churchanew.org/blog/posts/char-rachuy-cox-six-words

Here are a couple of examples:

• Born in the desert, still thirsty.
• Followed rules, not dreams. Never again.

The idea they summarise something that helps focus. So me being one who never excelled at the ‘reflect back’ / meditation exercises decided I will give it a go today (who knows about tomorrow and whether I will have a go then!).

Not always right so discovering life.

OK… it is only my first attempt so I will improve (oh no, did that sentence reveal something about me always striving and never coming up to the line? Surely not… hey, it was only an aside so no comments about ‘ever thought of therapy, Martin?’)

I love the right / wrong divides. I have realised the first word out of my mouth when in conversation is the word ‘no’, particularly when I agree. I have come to realise this in Spain more than elsewhere as when one puts the word ‘no…’ followed by something like ‘estoy de acuerdo’ one is actually saying fairly strongly ‘I disagree…’ In my head I am saying ‘I really agree with you whoelheartedly’, and I guess somewhere in there emotionally I am saying – ‘I will tell you I sooooo agree with you, but first I must let you know that I am not about to submit to you, I am independent’. So ‘no’ means I insist on my own autonomy while agreeing, without acknowledging that you came up with the position. Gayle now just let’s me get on with it as she knows she is the one who knows about mutual submission… Dang how did she get to that understanding before me?

Anyway, I am making progress. I am not always right, on many issues and situations I simply don’t have a clue, and have started to realise that if we all were to get it right (translation – line up with Martin’s reality) we could well end up in a big corporate unity of independence (now there’s a concept worth exploring!!!!!!). There is something so much bigger than getting it right, it is of discovering life, kind of ‘train a child up to discover their life and what makes them really come alive and they will love that path, feel good about themselves, and go on to make their contribution to humanity as they develop’ (a very rough translation of the Hebrew, or nowhere near a translation but I think I got the sense).

Celebrating life. Seems that is what God has always done. Not tied to rights and wrongs (and of course there are some rights and wrongs, but they are not best discovered as if they are a set of edicts), but the Author of life, the one who came to bring life, even abundant life. The one who died so that we might live; the cross that does not deal with the issue of justice from a right / wrong aspect, but one that releases life that overcomes death, and if death is overcome, life is embraced and we will then discover that any rights and wrongs were written in invisible ink.

So today my six words are along those lines. Probably will need to think about them throughout the day, and likely to forget them many times also!

Discover life. Why ‘discover’… cos many times life is hidden, covered over.